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Inviting the girl over to your place


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Three different scenarios of inviting a girl over to your place as either a continuation of a date or the two of you just hanging out together will be discussed below.

The basic premise

The basic premise of all these scenarios is the assumption that you have already been spending some time together that very same evening - either you have had a date, or met at some party (wedding, reception, birthday etc), or a nightclub/bar/pub. But now that the party is about to end, or the pub to close, or you're almost done with all the prescripted "dating" activities (be it movies, restaurants etc) - what next?

Here are three different scenarios of proceeding for you to examine and make the right choice from. Oh, and by the way, a scenario of You/Her: "Thanks, I had a really great time, bye now!" will not be discussed at all, I hope you don't minds:)

Scenario I

Fluff talk. Facts talk. Then some more fluff talk. You steer the discussion to whatever seems to hold her interest and you know you have exhibits of at home - arts and literature / you have lots of books on them or paintings, statues etc; music / an records collection; movies / books on movies or a movies collection etc. Now you can quite casually somewhere in the dicussion mention "You know I have a great [book/collection] on [whatever]". And when the time comes, you can say: "Well, why don't you come to my place and check out [whatever] I was talking about. I could show you [this] and [that]".

She turns you down. And this was the whole point of the first scenario. She turns you down, thus it really doesn't matter what you did or didn't do. The sneaking up to a cheap pretext to throw her way is just one example of the wrong way to do it. There are countless more and AFCs all over the world are doing it daily, failing miserably and getting laughed at by the girls behind their backs.

In conclusion - she didn't even accept the invitation.

But I'm not telling you yet, how to avoid being turned down - read the next scenario:)

Scenario II

Fluff talk. Feelings talk. Onto the value and personality demonstration method (aka seduction technique:) of your choice. You can see that you are making her feel good:) She smiles, laughs, has a puppy-face, etc, things are going well. You might even be having some slight kino (touching hands, maybe holding hands when walking in the streets etc). She has got to be into you:) So up comes the topic of going to your place, for whatever reason, could even be the lame "I'll show you this book and that record" pretext of the first scenario. And she agrees:)

She comes to your place because she likes you and trusts you. But... um... well you like her and trust her too, otherwise you wouldn't have asked her over:) But that wasn't exactly your point:)

Oh well, you proceed to work your magic - make her feel good, relaxed, at ease, connected etc. But sooner or later there comes a time of revelation for her - she might be about to see more than just some book. Once she has had that revelation, she can either decide that she wouldn't mind that at all and in fact she would like that very much:) ...Or she might first freeze up from the shock and horror of the unexpectedness of that revelation, then panic and finally flee.

In conclusion - she accepts the invitation, but there are no assurances as to whether she also decides to stay or not.

But I'm not telling you yet, how to avoid being run away from - read the next scenario:)

Scenario III

Fluff talk. Feelings talk. Onto the value and personality demonstration method (aka seduction technique:) of your choice. You can see that you are making her feel good etc, everything starts out just like in the previous scenario. But there's modification to it - instead of slight kino (holding hands etc), the two of you will have much more intimate kino. That means stroking her hand, hair, waist, holding her and then the ultimate test - kissing. Actually kissing serves a double purpose:

a) As already mentioned, it serves as the ultimate test - if she is reluctant to kiss you when you're hanging out, there's good chance she will also be reluctant to kiss you when she comes to your place.

Kissing of course is a huge decision for a girl, so if you wan't to test her willingness to also stay in case she decides to accept your invitation at all, you must first make the kiss for her as comfortable as possible - you'd better have already had previous kino (hugging, stroking), be in a more secluded place or in a place, where she feels its ok to kiss (so this could also be in the middle of the dance-floor of a nightclub, where things like that occur frequently) etc.

If she refuses a kiss, don't give up yet, see the suggestions on kiss-closes in Closing. If however she doesn't seem to want to kiss you, there's little chance that she'd accept your invitation as well, for now she knows what it really is she has to decide about when considering your invitation. You can still try of course, but I'd say that if she accepts to come to your place after having refused a simple kiss... you've got yourself one strange girl:)

b) Aside from being a test of whether or not there would be any point in inviting her over, kissing also serves as a mighty powerful aphrodisiac. She might be willing to come to your place anyway, and she might be willing to kiss you, but she might not be thinking in terms of staying a bit longer than it would take to check out a few books. Having started kissing with you however will definetly sway her thinking in the horny direction so that she might even start thinking about doing it with you tonight without you ever mentioning anything about... going to your place "to check out a book or something":) But when you finally do that, she'll be more than happy to accept:)

In conclusion - no turning you down, no coming over and then fleeing, but a girl who knows what to expect and expects what she has come to know:) And that is the kind of girl you want to "show your books" to:)

So remember - kiss-test/arouse her first, otherwise you'll be just shooting in the dark.

Update
NYC's suggestions to someone whose girl was comfortable with the kino and kissing but seemed reluctant to come to his place. NYC and his usual graphic language, ASF: "FORGET YOUR HOUSE! If you had taken her somewhere secluded, you could have fucked her on the premises. She was rejecting GOING TO YOUR HOUSE... NOT you feeling her up. She was totally with it and you lost out because you tried to change the venue. You can lose your vibe en route to the new location, so I personally don't like to change venues. Do her in the bathroom if you have to."

See also:
Closing
Proceeding instead of closing
My home is my love-nest