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Falling in Love patterns


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Estonian translation

Pattern 1

An example of using quoting, stacking realities, anchoring and time-distortion. Using Ross Jeffries' original as the basis.

You: "You know... I was reading the most interesting article about how men and women fall in love differently. And it was saying that men usually feel an attraction first, but that women, by contrast, usually feel a connection and then become more attracted. I mean, you know that kind of special connection you sometimes feel... that mysterious compelling click that takes place right THERE (touch her solar plexus, thus planting an anchor:)..." (See anchoring)

Don't forget that she might interrupt you any second and start talking about her feelings. Let her! Encourage her! Be ready to change the course of the conversation, listen to her trance words, anchor the feelings while she describes them to you. (See trance words)

You: "So... this article was saying, that when it's really special... that's when you can just STOP... and IMAGINE a time in future... say six months from now...blah blah blah". (See time distortion)

You: "(having directed the conversation in the direction of how men and women fall in love differently) You know, I was telling my friend about this, and she was saying, when she really starts to FEEL THAT CONNECTION.... and GROW even more attracted… she begins to pay attention in a special way. First, becomes aware... of the rhythm of her breathing... the beating of her heart... and that sense of growing fascination... such that as she continues to be aware of all this... one particular feature of the guys face begins to rivet her attention... so as she just continue to keep looking… it's like the rest of the environment disappears... and the entire world becomes this face... this voice that just start to wrap itself around her like a pair of powerful but gentle arms... pulling her in... deeper.... just allowing that warmth surround her… etc. etc:)"

Well, by now the situation should be ripe enough for you to throw in your own opinion about the subject:) You could make up a pattern of your own or acquire some ready-made patterns from Ross Jeffries at www.seduction.com (they cost a lot though, I'm talking hundreds of dollars).

See also:
Quoting and stacking realities
Anchoring
Trance words
Time distortion


Pattern 2

Extended version of the above pattern. This time no commentaries, no pointers, no interruptions - just the pattern. Modified from Ross Jeffries' original FiL pattern:

"I was reading this article that was talking about the difference in the way men and women fall in love. And it was saying that men usually feel an attraction right away but women by contrast usually feel a connection and then BECOME VERY ATTRACTED.

I mean you know that kind of special connection you sometimes feel ... that mysterious compelling click that takes place right there (right in the center part of you).... where you really feel so warm, safe and comfortable and it just lets you know this person is going to be so right for you in so many ways and you just slide into that sense of having known them for ever as if is was meant to happen, and as if you've always known them, maybe to the point where you picture this person so big and bright in that special place in your mine.

You don't even know why you just have to go deep inside and find all those values that are so important to you but you just naturally link them up with this person such that you find yourself beginning to look through the eyes of attraction ... cause I find when you look through the eyes of attraction, look through the eyes of desire, that's when you can make that connection and really feel that growing bond growing more and more as you begin to imagine being with this person, in that special way that two people can feel so wonderful.

And as you feel that passion growing more and more maybe to a point where you feel yourself just letting go completely as you allow this person to come deep inside releasing all those feelings that have been building and building up inside, you just want to release them in a flood and I find when you do that now with me I find you just feel so enchanted like you are now under a love spell cast upon you such that you can't control yourself and just find yourself going wild with it, and feeling so powerful a desire for this person where you feel so warm inside, and ready for them to come deep inside you, that you imagine: "mmmm how wonderful it will feel you and me together".

So this article was saying, that when it's really special, that's when you can just stop and imagine a time in the future, say years from now still feeling that growing attraction and looking back on this moment as being the inevitable start of it.

My friend ____ was telling me that her roommate has this best friend Dawn. And when Dawn starts to notice that growing attraction, it happens in a certain way.

Like first, as she looks at the guy, and starts to really pay attention, she just becomes aware of certain things like the rhythm of her breathing, and the beating of her heart, and the out line of his face so as she becomes aware of all these things, one particular feature of his face just starts to rivet her attention. So she becomes totally absorbed in the connection taking place and as that's all happening, it's like the warmth of his voice, this voice that just wraps itself around her like a pair of powerful but gentle arms .. pulling her in ... deeper ... just allowing that warmth to spread all through her... the deep rich warmth of it just starts to penetrate her thoughts, and as her heart beats faster and her breathing increases, that warmth just heats up into fire, a fire spreading through her chest and down through her belly, a fire pounding and pulsating all through her, down to where she longs to have it go, until that desire for him just becomes utterly overwhelming, and she just surrenders to it completely.

...such that she opens herself up completely and allows this person to come inside her so deep releasing all those feelings that have been building and building and building that she just wants to release those feelings in a flood.

I find when I HAVE those responses .. it's like you just let yourself go completely ... and go wild with it ... now that's how I see it so clearly. Now what really fascinates me about all this is not just how people connect so powerfully .. but how people connect with their own needs and wants and desires."


Pattern 3

Taken from "Sweep women off their feet...":

"If you met the guy of your dreams today, would you let him know first or would you first tell all your girlfriends about this guy you met and how you think he is THE ONE?"

"I'd know right away but I don't think I could tell him right away."

"But would you tell your girlfriends?"

"I guess."

"Just as I thought. That's interesting because it's a known fact that guys brag to their friends about the new girl they picked up when they were rejected yet they never say a word when they really meet a girl and fall in love. Women on the other hand are the exact opposite. They get so emotional when they meet their soul mate that they have to share the news with their girlfriends. The sad thing is that most people fail to recognize when they meet their soul mates or if they do they don't have the courage to find out for sure for fear of disappointment. That's why there are only a few people out there who ever get to experience true love, because they are not afraid to experienced it. Do you feel this…(squeeze her hand or at least make some kind of contact)…is the way it really is?…with me, now…I think most people know it but still deny it hoping that one day something will just happen out of the blue, but it will never happen until they just allow it to happen."


Pattern 4

Ross Jeffries:

"Have you ever thought about the difference between attraction and falling in love?

Well actually I think they take place in different settings. I mean, attraction is what you experience when you are in the presence of that person, (point) and you look at him and you think to yourself . . . mmmmmm, and you start to have certain thoughts, images and you know what that feels like, right?

But falling in love, well I think takes place when your not even in that person's presence. I mean, can you remember a time when you totally fell for someone. . . . And as you are looking at me, thinking about what I'm saying, you can remember how that felt, don't you.

Yea, but here's how it happened. You spent some time with that person (point) and then you went home and you picture that person in your mind (frame) right? And then maybe you imagine yourself in all sorts of situations with this person (point) having lots of fun, and enjoying the feelings and things you like to enjoy with them. Can you remember how that feels?

And then maybe you start to list all the qualities about him you really like: He's so funny, he's so smart, he's so fun to be with, whatever they were, whatever the things are that you really want and enjoy that with someone (point), right?

Then you get this feeling in the pit of your stomach, right in your solar plexus that just starts to spread out and lets you know that you really, really love this person (point). I mean, can you feel that as I describe it to you?

And then, here's the real kicker . . you start saying his name outloud, you start bringing it up in conversations with your friends, and maybe you even dance around the house singing it if your a real goof, right?

See, I think everything, including falling in love is a process. And when you do that process with someone (point) and really let it happen, that's when the magic takes over, the magic we're really all looking for.

Of course, sometimes that can take months, but the real magic is when it happened instantly and you know it right away. That's an incredible feeling, isn't?"


Pattern 5

A minor modification of the previous pattern. Ross Jeffries:

"I was reading in a book about the difference between attraction and being in love.

And it was really interesting to learn that attraction takes place when like someone is sitting across from you and you just notice something about them ... could be anything. The expression on their face, or some unique feature that just captures your attention, or maybe its just their voice, the way it might wrap itself around you like a pair of strong, warm but gentle arms and just penetrates your thoughts and spreads all through you. Whatever it is, it all that takes place in this person's presence.

But falling in love is what you'll do yourself, after you've gone outside this person's presence. I mean, think about it ... what happens is you spend some time with this person and then you go home and you then you picture this person and your mine, in that special place and you mine, where you keep people you care deeply for. And then what you do is you start to imagine being with this person in different situations and in all sorts of different ways like maybe introducing him to your friends or having all sorts of fun and interesting adventures together.

And then maybe what you even do is you start to list all the qualities that you really like about this person and for every quality thing you mention to yourself you get that feeling right in there where you get that warm feeling and with every feature you notice that this feeling increases, like oh he's so smart, or he's so much fun to be with, of he's so understanding of the world. And then, what you do is you start to repeat his name to yourself and then what you do, the real kicker is you start bringing up his name in every conversation, John said this or John said that and that's when you know you're absolutely hooked on this person, you know what I mean?

And I think when you do that, now, with me, I find that that's when you really feel that passion growing and you don't even know why you just have to stop and go deep inside and just allow this person's presence to penetrate you consciousness and come inside you so deep and when that's happening its like that feeling there it just starts to move down, deeper as you create an opening for it, an opening, that just feels all those feelings that have been stored up, and they just start to flood through that opening... you know what I mean?"


Pattern 6

One of the basic structures of a seduction is to model the process of falling in love. The setup in this example has the couple looking at a newspaper on the movies page with the male commenting on one of the male actors but of course you can modify it to your liking as it is fairly easy to introduce the "cute actor/singer/pop-star" theme into almost any conversation. Jobet Claudio, Mindlist:

Him: He's cute ain't he?
Her: Yeah.
Him: What exactly do you feel when you look at a cute guy (gesturing to your face).
Her: Hmm... I just feel a tingle of sorts (hah... that's one for the echoing).
Him: You like romance movies, don't you?
Her: Yeah. I love em.
Him: I'm just curious as to why you like romance movies.
Her: They make me feel so good... you know.
Him: Yeah. It can make you FEEL THAT TINGLE, (pts) I bet.
Her: Yeah.
Him: Well, I'm curious again. How do you know that YOU'RE FALLING IN LOVE with a guy (pts)?
Her: Well... I... I don't know... it just happens and I just realize it.
Him: Well... I read somewhere that there's this guy who researched about how women fall in love. In that study, he said that invariably (hah... Cialdini authority) women (point to her) at first find this small "gateway"... this thing that they notice about a guy (pts)... it may be small or big, like a dimple, or a smile, or the eyes, or a soothing voice... anything. Then, the woman begins to feel a tingling sensation when this guy (pts) is around... And the funny thing is, this guy's (pts) presence creates a certain richness of experience for women (pth), like, even small things, like a glance, or a look in the eye (look in her eyes), or a short, simple, soothing chat... all that... takes on a special meaning, that special, delicious feeling, you can't even begin to describe... that's when you realize that...THIS GUY IS SPECIAL (pts)...and special, in a special way...


Pattern 7

Talking about past relationships is an excellent chance to talk about the subjects of falling and being in love. But there is an added bonus to it - you can talk about it referring to your former love interest and you together as "we" and you can talk about what that "we" felt describing it in the present tense. Like this: "The beginning was so beautiful... its like... everything around fades away... and when we are looking into each other's eyes... we can see each other's souls". Did you notice the ambiguity? "We"... "are looking into each other's eyes":)? Jobet Claudio from Mindlist elaborates:

"Most women are suckers for love stories. Win or lose, success or failed, they really love love stories. Invariably, when in a conversation with a woman, the topic of love stories (as referenced to yourself) will often crop up as you talk about ex-boyfriends, current boyfriends, current girlfriend, ex-girlfriends etc.

Now, the "we", in the context of the story-telling, should refer to the ex and myself, but then again, "we" is ambigous. Coupled with a couple of hand gestures and more referential ambiguities, conscious use of the "we/us" paradigm could be one of the most subtle, insidous and undetectable, non-verbal referential index shifts I know.

[Example]

Me: So, you have a boyfriend?
Her: Not right now. Last one I broke up with a few months ago... how about you?
Me: Yeah, same here. It was a beautiful relationship. Too bad it had to end the way it did... Its like... at first... we are so much in love. We feel that the whole world is revolving around us... you know what it's like to FEEL TOTALLY IN LOVE, don't you? We're like that (gesture back and forth). It's like, when we look at each other's eyes (look into her eyes)... we can see... into each other's soul... and we can SEE... and... FEEL... that love... burning within the both of us... warm and close enough to touch (touch her forearm, or a non-touching gesture towards her chest)... and that bond between us... really so strong... so powerful... so overwhelming... It does become that way at times, now doesn't it?

[End example]

It's totally disarming, since you're supposed to be talking about a past love. What happens though is that that past loves serves as a springboard into a process that evokes the state of love in the woman you're talking to."